I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
