Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
