The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
