I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
