Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you win again, gameday.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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