I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize