we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
