it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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