dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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