There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
