I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
