ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
