its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
