Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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