On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
