What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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