i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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