"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize