I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
