I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
