So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
