i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
