I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is my gift to your gina
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
