Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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