What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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