I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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