it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
