i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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