If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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