Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
