First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
