found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
