Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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