I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
