Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
