i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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