I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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