ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
