Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
