i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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