Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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