I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
