My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A bitchslap is in order.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
