I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
