i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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