Fuck appropriateness.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
