My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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