He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
