what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
