i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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