do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
