Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
