I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
