So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
only you would photoshop your dick
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
