in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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