He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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