Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
