i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
