Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
