So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
