508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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