Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
