Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
