He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
